New Tattoo

Well, last Friday I went for another tattoo.  It's a small one, just two words on my left inside wrist.

This tattoo is my reminder, a reminder that I can't run away from the pain in my life, but that I need to embrace it and move on.  I have gone through many kinds of pain in my life, and I have tried my best to work through it when I can.  I push through pain when I go for a run, I've gone through the pain of birthing my boys, I've survived the pain of my 'Husband' cheating and leaving me.  I have not walked away from this pain, I have embraced and worked through it.

Not all of the pain in my life has been by my choice, not all the pain has been wanted.  But, I will not allow it rule my life, I will not dwell in it.  I am thinking that I should have 'Embrace Love' put on the inside of my right wrist.  Another reminder for me to embrace Love when I find it, to not worry so much about the pain that may, or may not, come about.  Love and Pain are facts of life, embrace them.

Tattoo fix ups and new ones

I'm hoping to get another laser session done to my tattoo this coming weekend.  If I'm lucky it will be the last session, and then on to getting the colours done in the proper order.  I am also getting geared up for getting a few more that I have ideas for.

The big one will most likely wait until the summer or fall, it will start at my left hip, work across my back, and then come up my right shoulder.  That would be mine and the boys birth flowers, which are Daisy (mine), Lily of the Valley (Monkey), Carnation (Bug), and Chrysanthemum (Little Man).  I like the style of this one, and think it would work well for the mixing of flowers I would like to do.

I would also like to get a tree of life (still deciding on the styling) on my calf and ankle.  I would like the roots to come down along my foot (to remind me to stay grounded), and have the tree come up along the outside of my calf.  The last one (which I am highly tempted to get this weekend)  would be the words 'Embrace Pain' in japanese characters.  This one I'm not 100% sure where I want it.  When I think about it, I think of my right upper arm, but I'm just not positive!?  Along my right thigh/hip would be nice too.


All these things to think about!

Hitting my Stride.

This week has been good!  Not to say there aren't the usual ups and downs, that is just life, especially with 3 boys.  But, I feel better, more grounded, more relaxed.  I have made some changes this week, but nothing too major   I've finally started to exercise again, I'm getting better sleep, and I think I'm just learning how to relax.  I still have a long way to go, but it's nice to feel that I am making progress again.

I did get around to picking up some material last weekend, although still not organized enough during the day to actually sit down at the sewing machine.  I figure that after this week of hitting a bit of a stride, I should be good to start.  

I made so much progress moving my life forward this last summer, but the last few months have felt a little bit like limbo.  It's now time to push forward with life again.

Awww!

Last night I heard those wonderful little words that every Mom waits to hear, from the Little Man... I wuv you Mama!!!  Oh, how my heart just melted.  After a weekend with them away, it was the perfect thing to help soothe my nerves.  Was even better to hear him repeat those same words throughout the day.

It was a big change this morning getting the kids up and ready for school.  With the last week off, and their weekend with their father, it was a struggle to get them out the door!  The fact that I had very little sleep, due to Little Man waking repeatadly, it has not been the best start to the week.

Even with the lack of sleep, I was able to get a run in at the track this morning, which I am paying for now!   Bug has soccer tomorrow morning, as well as speech, but as long as we all get some decent sleep tonight it should be fine.

Things...

I'm pretty proud of myself today, did something that I haven't done in 20 years.  It was scary, and I will need to get out there more, but I did enjoy it!  I'm sure you are all waiting breathlessly to hear what it is I did...

well...

...

I went downhill skiing!  I know it's not that all that exciting, but for me it was.  For me it was just another way of starting to live my life again.  I've been rather scared to hit the slopes all these years, scared of falling, scared of failing.  I've realized now of course that there is never a good enough reason to NOT do something!  I booked myself a lesson for first thing in the morning, which was a really helpful.  Not sure how well it would have gone without that help.  I then skied for another 3 hours, which was about as much as I could take.  Hopefully in a few weeks I will get another chance to hit the slopes.

Changes are a comin!

Working on changing the blog... going to take some time, get there soon.

Duck & Cover!

Ever have one of those days that everyone around you should duck and cover?  Well, today is that day for my kids, and anyone brave enough to come over.  I have woken up in a mood, a truly unpleasant mood.  Actually, I think this mood settled in yesterday, it's just now had time to fully blossom and reach it's full potential.  And just what is this mood you dare ask???

I am pissed off!  I am hurt.  I am angry.  I feel slighted.  I am furious.  I want to cry.  I want to inflict pain.  I want to run away.  I want to hide.

Are you wondering what has brought this mood on??  Are you really sure you want to know??  Even if you are brave enough to hang around me today, I couldn't really tell you where this mood came from.  I have some ideas, but nothing that really makes a lot of sense.

So, if you are looking for a good tongue lashing, or beating... come on over!